George Mason, we missed you today. We celebrated your big sister’s 4th birthday and you were missing. When all the littles lined up to swat the piñata, you weren’t there. When we all sang “Happy Birthday”, you weren’t there. As we passed out the cake, you weren’t there. You weren’t there, and we missed you terribly. I can only imagine that you’re blowing out candles in heaven for your big sister, just like she blows out the candles for you here on earth. Give Grammy a hug for me. I love you so -Mama

Group events are often the worst. It’s easy to move through our daily life and kind of forget that our sweet boy should be here. As we move further from his day, it’s not that his absence becomes less apparent, but more that it’s obvious he was never here. Not that he didn’t live. Or impact our lives. But that our only experience with him is in that hospital NICU, and so the further we get from that day in that room, the less we think to miss him in the big moments. It feels kind of awful to say that... but honestly it seems like God’s protection over our hearts. Our lives didn’t stop when George’s did, and so to be given the small grace of not missing him so blatantly is a kiss from our Good Father. Especially in a space full of families and would-be peers  

Today could have been full of mourning. We could have cried and been overwhelmed with sorrow (and that’s not to say those days won’t come throughout life) but instead, we got to celebrate the bright light that is Audrey Nole. We got to laugh with friends. Reminiscing about how our kiddos have gotten so big; so fast. We got to smile and clap and be the loudest cheerleaders for each swing at that piñata. Today wasn’t about sorrow. It was completely about celebration. And we missed our son, but we weren’t overcome by anything but joy for the life that we have been entrusted with raising. Praise Jesus for that. And Happy 4th Birthday, Audrey Nole!!