Today is Adam and mine’s anniversary. 6 years ago I walked down the aisle and promised to love him in all of it; the good, the bad, the sick, the healthy, the prosperous and the times of want. I meant it. He meant it. But neither of us had any idea what that would mean in practice and details.

Last night we went out to celebrate. We ate nachos and cheese fries and we laughed. We laughed for hours on end. It was one of the best days we’ve had, likely in the entirety of our time together. What a gift from our good Father. Last night we went out as husband and wife. We celebrated. We smiled. We laughed. We reminisced about our 16 hours with George Mason. We even joked about how Adam is destined to be surrounded by girls for the rest of his life - not a joke I would have expected in our circumstances and grief, but a joke that was welcomed  and made us both giggle. We weren’t loss parents last night. We weren’t grieving parents who were taking a night out. We were husband and wife CELEBRATING our marriage and ALL of the things that have brought us to this day.

As I sat across the table from him and laughed my way through a glass of wine and a pile of nachos, I felt so completely grateful for the partner he is to me. God gave me him. He placed this man in my life, knowing all of the details of our story, and graciously leads us through all of those things we vowed to stick with each other through. Neither of us could have expected to have lost a mother or a son, but we have and we’ve survived. Not because we are strong or dedicated or determined, but because God is faithful and totally, utterly, steadfast to his promises.


I’m glad and grateful to have had an evening full of laughter. It felt like a normal day. I hate to think of our life as having a BG and AG, but so often it feels that way. It feels like there will never be days like there were before George; that there will always be this fog over even the happiest of days. That perhaps some days it will be so high that we don’t even notice it until the sun goes down and we can barely see the stars, but nevertheless it’s still there. And then there will be the days where it’s thick and low and hard to breathe. I guess in many ways that is kind of how this life will be. God is gracious and my life won’t be defined by the death of my son, but the death of my son won’t be completely righted until Jesus comes back. And until then, there will be a new lens through which I experience His grace and this life. And when I think about the future, I’m thankful for my hubby and my partner and I’m thankful for our children; both of them.

Thank you Lord for the mercies that are new every morning and are tailored to the needs of that day. Thank you for the laughter over dinner. Thank you for my godly partner in this journey. Thank you for being you. For being who you say you are and nothing less. You are abundantly more than I could ever fathom. Because of You and your Son, I am capable of laughing and I am assured of my own son’s place in eternity. There’s nothing more I could ever ask for. And there’s nothing more worthy of celebrating.