Today is Audrey Nole’s birthday. My goodness time flies. It really seems like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital. And now, we have not only managed to keep our tiny human alive for 2 birthdays, but we welcomed our second child and became of a family of 4. I feel so incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of love I am capable of knowing for my children and from my Audrey. She has truly been a light in the darkness that has shadowed the last couple years. I was worried that it would be hard to celebrate her birthday this year. Something doesn’t seem quite right or normal about celebration given our current circumstances. But when I think about it, our current circumstances are our forever circumstances. There is no time in our future that we will not have lost our precious son to death. He is gone and that isn’t going to change. What will change though, is the time distance from his day and the surrounding picture of our lives. So as I reflect on this day, March 30, I realize that celebration is the most fitting thing we can do. We can outwardly praise our Savior for the wonderful light He so graciously dropped into our world to be His face to us on the hard days but also just every day. Audrey doesn’t know today that she is God’s face to me and her daddy, but I pray that she will one day understand how much joy she brings us and how grateful we our to God that He entrusted us to her.
So today, even though I’m sad that I won’t be making birthday cake with George Mason each February, I’m going to wholeheartedly celebrate my beautiful little girl as she turns 2. Thank you, dear Lord, for this blessing we call Audrey Nole.
Today, you are two years old. I honestly don’t know what your daddy and I would do without you in our lives. Not a day goes by that we don’t thank God for you and your wonderful spirit. You are the most sassy, determined, matter of fact, silly little girl and you bring so many smiles to the people around you.
You march to the beat of your own drum. You think you are capable of anything and you make sure that your daddy and I know that on the daily. You have the most precious way of speaking in the third person, and as much I hope you learn to use proper pronouns, part of me hopes that you never stop referring to yourself as Audrey. “Audrey do it. Audrey drink milk. Audrey be right back. Audrey get blanket. Audrey play toys.”
You are smart as a whip and sometimes that drives us crazy. You never stop talking and repeat everything you hear. Thank goodness mama doesn’t suffer from road rage… ha! I’m learning to control my temper because of you. I’m also learning that there is nothing in life I should take as seriously as my relationship with my savior, because at the very least you are learning from my example and at the very most, you are repeating everything I say.
In the last few months I have so enjoyed watching you discover this great big world through your imagination. It knows no limitations and that’s a really cool thing to experience. You have become quite the little mommy to your many babies (Lella, Belle, Baby, Woofi, Minnie, kitty cat, & Baby Rory). You feed them milk and change their diapers. You also make sure they are well rested and get plenty of sleep. You read them books and tell them stories when you’re supposed to be sleeping. You are just so precious and we are so thankful for you.
You became a big sister this year. Your brother, George Mason, was born on February 10. Sweet girl, I’m so sorry that he didn’t get to come home and live with us, because you would have been the most amazing big sister. We are so thankful that you got to meet him and hold him. You were so curious about his tiny little features; you examined his fingers and toes, touched his soft skin, gave him the most darling kisses. You talk about him all the time. You tell me that he’s with “Jesus in heaven” and that he “doesn’t need carseat anymore”. You tell me every day how much he loves me and I tell you how much he loves you. You tell me he had lots of boo boos and that he was your brother.
Audrey Nole, all of those things are absolutely true and I’m so thankful you constantly remind me of them. You are truly a gift from God and daddy and I are so happy to have the privilege of raising you. We pray that you will continue to be God’s light in this broken world. We pray that because you’ve had to experience this brokenness so early on in your life that you would be even more excited to share God’s love with others as you grow older. I hate that death has touched our family like it has, but sweet girl, these experiences are shaping your faith in such a deep way at such a young age that I know God has great plans for you. Know that we are cheering for you, praying that we can best equip you, and encouraging you to love Jesus with all of your being.
It is finally “maach phurtieph” so we are so excited to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our most precious baby girl. You are no longer a baby but will always be our baby. Mama and Daddy love you so much and cannot wait to see what year 3 has in store for us.
All Our Love,
Mama & Daddy