November brings with it lots of reminders to be thankful. It’s a month dedicated to gratitude and everywhere you look, people are sharing and displaying the things in their life that make them smile. I want to make sure that this month of this particular year, I’m not forgetting about gratitude. It seems it’s one of the truest ways for me to re center myself and remember that God isn’t some evil dictator holding my emotions hostage. Instead, it reminds me that He is very much for me. That when I look around and am intentional about looking for the things in my life that are so so good, I find a million plus one things to be grateful for. Sure, this year has been full of disappointment and sorrow. Sure, my son will not be joining us at the thanksgiving table. Sure, there is an empty nursery waiting for a child to shelter. Sure I could live in despair and focus on the gloom. But beyond the obvious reason to be sad, there is a great and caring God who has promised over and over that He means it when He says He isn’t going to just leave us hanging.￼
In my attempt at being grateful, one of the things that has spoken so deeply to my heart over this last year is social media. It is such a comfort to see things like that quote as I scroll through a newsfeed. In a world full of reasons to be worried or afraid, one simple sentence, one simple bible verse, can point my head and my heart back to the one thing that should be occupying my time/days/mind/heart. I’m so grateful for ministries that utilize social media in such a convicting way. In a way that turns off my desire for Instagram and turns on my need for digging deeper into the scriptures that breathe so much life,that give so much comfort, and that are oh so sustaining.
This grief journey has been hard. It has tested the limits of my heart. It has tugged at all of my humanity. I often am exhausted both emotionally and physically. I struggle daily with anxiety that plagues even the smallest decisions of motherhood. But it has also drawn me closer to the God I serve. It has pushed me beyond my capabilities and forced me to see the NEED, the deep and predictable need, I have for my creator and savior.
Lord, thank you for not leaving me to go it alone. Thank you for being ever present. And thank you for the millions of way you show and remind me of that fact.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. -Philippians 2:1-2