Today is Adams birthday. I think birthdays are forever going to be hard for our family. It seems so weird to celebrate another year older when our son will never even celebrate a birthday. There is joy in getting older. It is exciting to experience life and to "survive" another trip around the sun. We will look back one day on our years together, on this life, and will be flooded with memories of all kinds from our experiences as a family. We will laugh. We will cry. We will get angry. There will be every kind of emotion represented and that's a good thing. Experiences shape us. They sculpt the curves and the facets of who we are. We can't escape life and I wouldn't want to, even in this rather dreary and storm filled season.
As I reflect on this last year, as is the norm on any birthday, there are many highs but there are so many lows. I'm thankful for the man I married; for the support he has been this year and every year. I'm thankful for the father that he is. I'm thankful for the giggles he has shared with Audrey Nole. I'm thankful for the moments he had with George Mason. I'm sorrowful that we have had to shed tears. I'm miserable when I think about the death of our son, of his very first son.
It's hard to not be sad on any given day but birthdays are just hard. Audrey and I, and anyone who knows and loves Adam, are so very thankful for him. We are so very happy to celebrate his life. Audrey picked out a card and she told me that her daddy needs a pink Birthday cake. So, despite the sorrow that comes with this season and the absence of our son, today is a good day. Today, we celebrate the life of our favorite daddy and husband. Today, we raise our hands and praise our great God for the wonderful man he has placed in our lives. The man that has made all this crap from this year seem a little easier to stomach. The man who loves us with everything he has and who shows us just a glimpse of what God's love looks like.
Happy Birthday, Adam. This year has been so hard but I've never been more thankful for you. You love our children so very well. You love me with excellence. You support us and care for us. You provide and protect. Audrey, George, and I are so blessed to have you.