This morning was the hardest day in a very long time. We buried the ashes of our sweet George Mason this morning. I knew this day would be hard. I expected tears and sadness. Death sucks and all the pieces of the closure process are so necessary but are equally as emotionally draining.
It feels good to have laid his ashes to rest in a permanent place where there is respect for his life, short as it was. There is a place with his name on it, for people to see and know. A place where his life is honored not just in our memories, but physically and tangibly.
Our son only lived for 16 hours but he left a legacy of hope and assurance. His precious life had me on my knees more times than I can count. He brought me closer to my Lord and gave me so much joy in carrying him. He is our first son, perhaps our only son. He made Audrey a big sister. He grew our family by one. His life was the most amazing and the hardest thing I've ever experience. All of this realities rushed through my head as I walked to his little space in that cemetery. As I stood there, facing his grave and listening to the words of scripture chosen for this occasion, I couldn't help but face all those truths. All the joy and the sorrow that are the result of his life. I'm so glad we laid him to rest. I'm so glad that we gathered as a family from all over the country to place his ashes in the ground. It was good. It was hard.
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. -Deuteronomy 31:6